I saw the ugliest girl today. It hurt to look at her. Not to be rude, kind of too late for that. I mean she looked like she wanted to win the scariest face award. I would rather look at a solar eclipse. I like how Google is starting their plan for world domination. Soon there will be a Google space along with Google porn. Then and only then will they rule the world. I saw something funny today. It was a pie chart that said that when men jack- off they spend 90% of the time looking for the right scene and 10% actually doing the deed. Fuck the Miami Heat. Go bulls. If you are from the Chicago area and don’t like the bulls then fuck you with a 5 foot pole. I hate these people because they can’t even cheer for the team they grew up with. If you are reading this and you are one of these people who don’t like their own teams then stop what you are doing and proceed to jump off a bridge. Japan really showed us not to fuck with water. I saw a Charlie Brown cartoon today and I wondered what I would’ve done if some girl made me trip while trying to kick a football. Think about this. If your answer was anything along the lines of talking to her then you are a pussy. If it was along the lines of beating the shit out of her then we are on the same page. How many times can a child take being called a blockhead before they snap. Homeless people are liars. I gave a homeless man a dollar once and he said he was going to get a sandwich. When I saw him in the liquor store he gave me the nastiest look. I was like wtf I gave you a part of my booze/stripper/food money so you could go get a sandwich and then I didn’t even get mad when you were wasting it. He would have had to use the thousands of pennies he collected over the years but it’s all good. Random thought: the flushing toilet was invented by a man named Thomas Crapper. That’s a nasty name. On the Oprah show every once and a while she gives away things that are useful. Things like paying for your child’s education or giving away cars. But on her last show she went hard she gave away nothing at all. I bet the audience was so pissed at her. But I’m glad that show ended. Oprah is a male bashing, husband hating woman and even though she tries to not be sexist she always is. meanwhile in soviet Russia no one cares what is going on. Random thought #2: the idea of Santa Claus is so freaky. Every year a fat man dressed in red breaks into your house from the chimney, most likely, and GIVES you presents while only taking milk and cookies. He also monitors every child in the world’s actions throughout the whole year and then deems them “naughty or nice”. He must have a darker purpose for this. All I know is that if I saw a fat man in red in my living room then no child would be getting presents that day. . Maybe he is friends with the ever so popular pedo bear. If so then he gets the pedo bear seal of approval for spying on little children every day, all day.
When you get on a plane, there is a moment of Suspense between walking down that hallway and discovering who is sitting next to you. I always hope I don’t have to sit next to a Fat guy, Oscar the Grouch (named because the guy smells like a fucking trashcan), a Too talkative old lady, or just some Weird guy who is yearning for an ass Whoopin that day. On the other Hand, I DO hope I sit next to either a Cougar or just some HOT girl that’s OEF (spelled out: Old Enough to Fuck) and DTF (figure that out yourself). In my experience, the situation usually puts me in between extremes or with the old lady. Still, what would I do if I sat next to my preferences? . ..Well, I would do the Normal thing. I’d basically let her experience my Illustrious tongue……………..…and mind Fuck her into the Mile High Club. Even if I don’t get the privilege of inducting a new member into the Club, I could at least get those digits. We’re going to the same city Obviously, so we can get it Crackin later on. Let the afterbang of the Mind Fuck sit on her brain for a while.
That’s what I would do. You would probably do something similar…or not if you don’t have the balls but at least before you Bitched out your thoughts would proceed in a similar fashion. Not this guy though:
*Notice the title when you hover over the link LMAO…Hope you also notice the link btw*
He thought it would be better to just go Balls Out, put it on the Table for the OEF next to him to see. That would make her wet, right?
Kyle Pierce, A 25-year old man from Florida on his way to Denver, apparently masturbated in front of all the passengers on a United Airlines flight last week. I’m going to just grab this part in its entirety from the Tribune article: The OEF next to him said,
“’I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis,’ the 18-year-old woman told investigators, according to the criminal complaint. ‘He ejaculated and got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.’”
If nothing else, you have to admire the Boldness of this guy. He not only randomly pulled his dick out for the girl to see, rubbed one off AT HIS SEAT on a plane, but he even left some nut on the seat for her to think about as he went to go clean up!
Too bad the whole situation didn’t work out the way he pictured it in his head. Kyle was arrested and faces a possible 90 days in jail along with a $5,000 fine for obscene and indecent exposure. The whole thing makes me wonder..That girl must have had some HUGE tits! Tormenting him every time he looked over. And He must get No butt whatsoever! I mean what else could have led to this scene? Or maybe he’s just one of those weird guys I’ve never been able to understand that Shoot off in their pants from stuff like lap dances or girls talking to them.
Anyways, Let’s keep fucking this Chicken and speak more on whacking the weasel. Back in ’09 A New York Cabbie was suing the Taxi and Limousine Commission to get his license reinstated after he allegedly masturbated in front of a customer WHILE driving. Before I continue, I have to say this sounds like something I need to do. Not the jacking off in front of customers thing but doing it WHILE driving. That has to be some kind of exhilarating shit!
The guy was probably masturbating, despite the lack of evidence. There was a jacket over his lap, even though he could have put it on the passenger seat. His fly was open. He had Tissue on hand, and he kept moving the car, drifting off, and jerking from side to side (Pun intended). I understand that sometimes you see a Bad bitch on the street that makes you just want to hump something…but I’m going to have to side with the lady. I wouldn’t want a Homo driver (no offense to the homos) to spread Mayo on his Knuckle Sandwich right in front of me or watch some old hag tease the tuna taco. Shit would weird me out too! However, if it wasn’t for the jacket on the lap part, I might have believed the guy.
Women don’t understand men and our trials. You ever have to scratch your balls in front of a woman? It’s easier to do it with your hands in your pants for just a moment. Women automatically think you’re beating off. Also, sometimes we don’t notice our fly is open when we leave the bathroom, and it always seems that nobody wants to tell you that your zippers down. Hence, you don’t find out till some random time like maybe while you’re driving. Maybe he was having a hard time zipping up. Maybe he does have allergies. Maybe it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding, and the lady is just being a prude with no sense of humor.
Probably not though. Moral of the story is don’t go on a date with Rosy Palm and her Five sisters and leave somebody around you as a third wheel. Nobody likes being a third wheel……….Unless it’s cool for them to rub one out too.
So I Told T-Mobile, Google, and Facebook, 'Just Let Me Put the Tip in'
By King Beesy
Bored at work today, scanning Hella news in the New York Times, and I came across a few things that just struck that cord in me.
The most important one, just because it affects me the most noticeably on a day-to-day basis, is this proposed AT&T purchase of T-Mobile. SO I read this article bitching about how such a merger would reduce competition, possibly raise prices, and just basically hurt the consumer . You can read it here if you want:AT&T’s Plan to Buy T-Mobile May Reduce Competition, Legislators Warn. All that stuff is valid and understandable, but all the dissenters are missing the biggest issue here for us T-Mobile customers. As a T-Mobile user, my two cents are, “Please Mr. Justice Department and Federal Communications Commission, let this thing happen Just because T-Mobile Sucks Ass.” I don’t know how much better my service would be if AT&T were supporting me too, but I’m sure it would be better than it is Now. ANYTHING is better than T-Mobile service. Anybody that thinks their service sucks, have T-Mobile for a Day. You will worship your mobile provider so much that you will hand-wipe the CEO’s ass for him after he eats a Chipotle Burrito. I’d change providers at this very second but I’m riding the gravy train and so I’m stuck with no bars in half the places I go and internet service reminiscent of the 90’s America Online ISP. If you’re reading this and for some reason have been coerced into getting a T-Mobile phone, No! *stern face, Pointed Finger* Stop now and find another, Any other, even a telegram company or some shit like that! Try your hand at telepathy. It will do you better than T-Mobile.
Next order of Business: Lets speak on Internet companies expanding their services, starting with the Master of having their hand in every cookie jar, Google.
I read these two articles: Google Unveils App for Paying With Phone and Google Payments: What It Means to You & to the Payment Industry. On the one Hand I could talk about how Google gives no Fucks about the consumer, making your life easier, and improving our world and only really cares about generating more profits, but I want to save that for another time maybe and just blurb about privacy issues. Too many new applications for phones and cameras and whateverthefuck carry all kinds of information about us as consumers. Sure it could be easier to have a phone as your wallet, aside from the fact of today that your phone battery doesn’t last that long (Then Again that might save you money, since you couldn’t access your “wallet” with a dead phone). I mean its your Phone, you make Calls, you can pay for stuff with it, you Don’t need a bulky wallet in your pocket, (and for those many women out there) you have less stuff to lose, but more information of yours would be passing through Google channels. Is that a Bad thing???..I don’t know. An interesting read for pondering such a question is The Googlization of Everything by Siva Vaidhyanathan. Good Book for the mindless consumers of the world and for us intelligent, Critical thinkers too. Personally, I don’t feel comfortable putting more and more of my shiz in Google hands, which Brings me to another related topic.
Facebook and its new idea for making user sharing of music and video a fundamental feature of its service. (Wondering if Fundamental was the best word to use??…Ima leave it cuz I need to get up kind of like 4 hours from now and start a busy day). BUT before I get to that……Pancakes!!!
Hell Yeah! I want to make-Wait??……..I want SOMEONE to make these for me right now!!
Sexy Ladies sifting through my thoughts, PLEASE make these for me. The recipe is right here => Quinoa Pancakes
Note to Tumblr: Your system should save a draft of my post every minute or so so shit like this doesnt happen. I almost don’t feel like retyping it, which is hard to do anyway because I can’t really remember all my thoughts that well from last night. Ill do it anyway though, just for you readers…but not now. I have to take a shit.
I pondered on the Facebook Issue again and recollected/gathered some thoughts to finish this post…………….
SO on that Facebook thing. Sounds like a Nice idea and all, allowing users to Better portray their identity on the Web. I could go into a long Blurb about Facebook and how this could lead to racial and class based advertisements tailored for us by our music and video preferences (then maybe that won’t happen), But regardless I don’t wanna talk about that right now. I just want to say that I wouldn’t personally use this service much. I’d like to keep some parts of my life private from “friends”, the general public, “third parties” (which can be all kinds of people that Facebook has the right to give your info to), and of course the CIA (which is a Facebook investor and can get your info from Facebook at will). I don’t need “third parties” out there to have more information to create some crackhead theoretical profile of me or African-American people in general. There is Enough of that out in society at the moment. That kinda brings me to the next point on this issue, being how all Kinds of organizations screen your Facebook for reasons to fire you or Maybe just not hire you. I mean I’m already Black, I can’t afford for Facebook to hold me down further.
My Boss doesn’t need to know everything I watched on YouTube today. I mean These are the things I watch on YouTube: Martial Arts Vids, sometimes Random Funny shiz, and Hella videos of girls shaking their Asses.
Yeah, my Boss doesn’t need to know that stuff, since they probably won’t understand. Thus I could do without the Facebook media sharing thingy. Instead Facebook should develop an app that allows us users to have a REAL identity online without affecting us at work. Facebook, make an app that brings us back to the age when people had separate home-lives and work-lives or even the ability to move somewhere and start over socially with a clean slate. I’d endorse that idea.
I typed this differently last night……………………but whatever I can’t remember wtf I wrote. This will have to do.
The world needs more drugs in it. I want a racing game with old people riding wheelchairs. This would be badass. Like a Special Olympics video game. I’d call it Hot Wheels: paraplegic edition. Ok first article I saw today was about second grade students performing oral sex while the teacher was present….LOL this is wild. Teacher was probably sitting there teaching and the kids just started to go down on each other. Their parents need to lock up the porn box when the kids are home. What second grade child thinks of this stuff? If you are this young then your balls haven’t even dropped yet. I wanted to see the reaction on the parents face when the school called and said “your son/daughter is suspended for giving another classmate head”. I would have been like what the fuck! What punishment can you give them though? Do you hit them for having sex? These kids start having sex earlier and earlier. Soon newborn babies will be going at it in the sandbox. But they put the teacher on leave because of the incident. He probably feels so embarrassed. People please don’t put your porn in the open. Hide it in a closet or in the more popular shoebox under the bed. Children don’t need to be blowing each other’s horns until at least 8th grade. Again LOL.
I saw another fucked up article today. It’s about a US woman who gets life in jail because she put her baby daughter in the microwave while being drunk. Not to be sexist but this is a prime example why woman shouldn’t get blackout drunk. (I hope she was blacked out) when a man gets drunk we run around, probably puke on the street, and then pass out. This woman got drunk, went home, saw her baby and probably saw that she was cold. So what’s the best thing to do to a cold baby? Put her in the microwave! Good job Sherlock. Or she wanted to eat her. But she didn’t do this because she was cold, or because she wanted to. The woman got into an argument with her boyfriend over if he was the biological father. When the argument was over she intentionally put the baby in the microwave. WOW mother of the year nominee right here. This is why I hate arguing with woman. Some can take things WAY too far. They usually can’t control their temper and do things that they regret. This is probably why Chris Brown hit Rihanna. She probably said he couldn’t dance and everyone knows that dancing is his life. This woman also avoided the death penalty because she was drunk. So if I go on a mass killing spree and kill dozens I won’t get the death penalty because I was intoxicated? Look at our justice system.
Ok may 21st just passed and we are still alive! Hell yes good sir! No. whoever believed that the rapture was actually going to happen has got to be some of the dumbest people on earth. You listen to a man, one man, who told you that the world was going to end. I salute you on being so dumb. I don’t think I could do something so stupid even if I tried. I bet the people who did believe feel the same way when 6’ o’ clock passed. They got this man over 5 million dollars because they couldn’t use common since. I still to this day hear people say that we shouldn’t be celebrating Osama Bin Ladin’s death. Well I give a big fuck you to the person who doesn’t want to rejoice in the death of the man who was responsible for the casualties of thousands of American citizens. You are an un-American cunt if you think that this isn’t ok. I hate cockblockers. It’s like if they are not having fun then no one can. As soon as you see a pretty girl they jump in your way like “you shall not fuck!”(Lord of the rings Gandalf voice). I love Mexican women. I want a Mexican girlfriend. I hate people who are from the Chicago area and don’t like the Chicago teams. I have yet to complete my first rubics cube. I love yagar bombs. J. Cole and Mac Miller are two dope rappers. I love martial arts. Fighting is my life, other than school and random orgies. Had a nightmare that Justin Beiber was alive at the age of 21. Scared the living shit out of me. My favorite snack is crab Rangoon. Every time a new jackass movie comes out I see the cast becoming more and more gay. It gets funnier, but this doesn’t cover up the fact that they will soon be fucking each other. A few funny terms I have heard over the last year are: duty dome- the act of getting head (oral sex) while playing call of duty. Blumkin- the act of getting head while taking a shit. This one is pretty nasty. If you are a girl and you have given a Blumkin then I have zero respect for you. I mean the man is dropping loads extremely close to your mouth. And it must smell like shit down there. I hate dumb people if you already didn’t know. One day a girl asked me “what do you think the air smells like on the moon?” never talked to her again. A dumb statement that I heard in college was that chocolate milk comes from brown cows…so strawberry milk comes from pink ones? She failed that class. I think that the Fox network has the stupidest television shows on earth. And they are evil as fuck. If you remember years and years back they had a show called “who’s your daddy”. Sounds innocent at first but then you hear the plot. It was about a woman who never met her father. They put her in a house with about ten men and told her to figure out which one was actually her real father. Every week she had to send one home. This is cruel. She eventually kicked off her real father. Fuck you standard television. Batman, most underrated superhero in the world. Also the flash. This man can run faster than a speeding bullet. With my knowledge of physics, if he hit you while running over 200 mph you will be dead. I don’t see why people like soap operas. It’s the same as any other show, scripted. I don’t like feminist. At first women wanted to achieve equal rights. I respected and supported this. But then they got greedy and now some want to have more rights than men. The whole point of our rights is to be equal. Women are no more deserving of more rights and the same goes for men. Most feminist are lesbian anyways. I respect that women have to carry babies and that they have to endure childbirth but this doesn’t mean that you get more rights. They act like they choose to have babies. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. If you don’t reproduce then no one will. If men were the sex that produced children then we would have no choice ether. You just pulled the short stick in the creation of humans. Dogs are great pets. Cats are lazy shits who just want you to rub their head and feed them. “Do you like fish sticks? Then you are a gay fish”. In every horror movie the same thing usually happens. The white girls runs away from the crazed killer, trips on a flower and is eventually killed. Fuck Lon Capa (if you know what this is).
Ok this is my thoughts on two of my favorite cartoons of my childhood. I will start with Scooby doo. This has got to be the biggest stoner cartoon I have ever seen. First of all they ride around in a vehicle called the mystery wagon. This must have gotten them pulled over by the police at least once. Second, all of them were obviously tripping balls on ex or mushrooms. Who the fuck thinks that a dog talks? Shaggy was the worst, he was constantly hungry which means he was always high. He was also a fucked up person because his favorite food was Scooby snacks, a dog treat. They had the most close calls in the world. I was waiting for one of the criminals they were chasing to actually be a killer and shoot them all. It’s like the world was full of idiots and they all got captured by a group of kids who were robo-trippin. They had no family and they all lived in the same van. Hippies. But somehow they avoided the part of life where they get jobs and have a family. They just solve “mysteries” and live in a van. Great life if you ask me. And do they ever get paid for their services? I don’t remember ever seeing money exchange hands. And what’s up with them splitting up in every episode. Always Shaggy and Scooby, Fred and Daphne. And Velma was always a third wheel. She probably never got sex. And I was sure Fred was gay for a long time. Look at how he dresses. He wears an ascot. That’s pretty gay to me. Never really liked Velma. She was always useless. Every episode she knew who did the crime halfway through the investigation and didn’t tell anyone. Then they would pull off the mask and she would say “I knew it was you!” I actually hated her. But that’s all I have to say on this subject.
Ok second cartoon was Pokémon this has got to be the most retarded use of deadly animals I have ever seen. I would hate to be in a world where a little rat has enough electricity in it to kill you. Or there is a giant snake made of pure rock (onyx for you people who didn’t have a childhood). And the main character was a 13 year old boy. What parent lets her 13 year old son go out into a world where animals can manipulate the weather and cause natural disasters? That’s bad parenting if you ask me. There is even Pokémon now that can manipulate time and space. What the fuck! And what’s up with team rocket? They have been chasing ash for TEN years. Ten years of chasing a Pikachu. ONE fucking Pikachu. Stupid career plan if you ask me. After every episode the blasted off into the air and miraculously survived and came after them the next time with thousands of dollars in machinery. They could have just paid the $200 for a handgun, shot ash and stole his pok’e balls. The Pokémon world had no wars, no racism, no real violence and the most dangerous weapons in the world. I don’t know about you, but if I saw an armored turtle with giant cannons on its back I would never leave my house. And how many regions are there in this world. Ash has been through at least 10 generations of Pokémon and he seems to the same little bitch that he was when he left. And each time these Pokémon are “undiscovered” they are starting to run out of names for them too. Pokémon manes use to be simple. Now they all sound like Japanese pornstars. How longer are they going to keep making these things? They actually have a monster that looks like an ice cream cone
This is retarded. They really need to stop. Each legendary Pokémon is better than the last and somehow doesn’t kill ash in the movies. I’m disappointed in the powerful animal that can’t stop a 13 year old and an electrical charged rat. I want to see the Pokémon revolt and take over the world. I know they are tired of being stuck in a small ball all day. Ash has so many gym badges that he doesn’t need to fight anymore. How long is he going to fight before he notices that he is wasting his life away? Every generation there is a new bitch that follows him around too. He has yet to put the moves on any of them. Misty was obviously a whore. Please stop killing the series…my bad it’s already dead.
1. When a woman wheres clothes like a hoody when its near 80 outside. My mind tells me your hot, like sweaty, and so you might be musty. Mustiness is not attractive. That shiz stank…Aslo, bad breath. Brush your teeth. Carry gum around.
2. Women my age with Hella kids, or even just two. The more kids around a woman, the less sexy they seem. Lets chill without them.
3. I know text lingo is useful to a point, but ppl take it beyond useful to just incomprehensible. If you status or text with super-sub english, me no understand you. Me think you estupido. Typing how you talk isnt always good. Use words we all can decipher.
4. Trailing off to things i like for a sec cuz my focus is not that good when I blurb: I extra like women with locks. Shiz is sexy when it looks like they care about their head. I also like women with Fros and short hair, when it works with their face of course.
5. Another thing i like since I’m on the topic: Girls who practice martial arts. I like the rough stuff. Give me a challenge!…A girl who can make me sweat. Now that’s interesting, and I’m the bees knees!
6.I like aggressive women. Shiz gives me a boner!: real talk. Women that stand up for themselves in tha face of w0men and men.
7. Back to things i don’t like: Women with no ambition or direction.
8. gold diggers: dig for thy gold elsewhere. mine will be spent on the one who doesn’t ask or look for it.
9. Girls who don’t like video games.
10. Girls who think being mature means you cant do kid stuff. I’m bout to watch some cartoons! You better to be In.
11. Un-adventurous women. I want to skydive and go cave diving. Battle some zombies and hunt down werewolves Scary shiz is fun to me. Lets play fight with real swords and run with scissors! Gives me a rager just thinking about it.
12. Atheists: you have to believe in something. Even an all powerful (lol i typoed anall powerful) alien is ok with me.
13. girls who dont drink: I drink. Plenty. Nothing wrong with that. IN FACT, there’s something right about it. Also, not against controlled substances. Do you but make things happen in your life at the same time. No bums
14. Things I like: Ass. Plain and simple……….Or boobs!………confused??…….both
15. Things I like: Women with brains, who can hold convos with me. I like to debate and argue stuff. debate about anything with me, now thats sexy. :-0
16. Girls with dirty socks: Mop yo damn floor. Vacuum. Do whats needed.
17. Things i like: Girls with rings. Wherever. I don’t care. ;-)…I like the nose rings though in particular
18. Girls who don’t cook: I can cook for myself. Very well I may add, but I don’t want to do it forever. I hate cooking! MAKE ME A SANDWICH!…..Please
19. Prudes: Conservatives are bor-bor-boring. I get bored easily.
20. Women who are too independent: Let a Man do something for you sometimes, Your high horse is too high.
21. Women who witch too much: yea i said it.
22. Clingy women. Not my style. I like to breathe sometimes.
23. Women with fairy tale ideas: Life doesn’t usually have fairy tale endings. Be real. Disney isn’t. Plus, Disney is sexist and racist. don’t idealize it.
24. Girls who dont believe in working out: I work out, all the time. For me, mostly cuz I like to look at myself..no homo..but also for the ladies. Do the same and it is appreciated.
25. Leads me into Things i like: Women who are a little self-conscious because they are always trying to better their looks..To a degree thats nice. Im not for plastic surgery though. Believe in you…kinda conflicting ideas.
26. Racist girls: well an F U to you, witch. Insert B and brick throw
27. Women who disapprove of doing stupid, childish things during party time. We’re young. Lets live it up. I can run really fast. We can get away before the police come
28. Celibate women…no explanation…I couldn’t marry someone without knowing how they are..Marriage?? next topic
29. women who cant keep up with my mind
30. Women with hairy vajajays: I like designs or mowed lawns. Bushes are historic. shave that shiz.
31. Girls who don’t do the job..get it??…bad joke
32. Girls who mooch too much and aren’t your friend.
33. Materialistic women: btw: Don’t buy expensive shiz for glows. if you do, do it for yourself. Extra Flashy shit is a waste of money: save your money and get somewhere with your life. A gold digger can licketh my balls but never geteth in my pockets.
34. Dealing with women that like to hear me breathe on the phone. Waste of my time. Lets talk or hang up.
35. Women who like to sit on the phone for hours while talking about nothing at all: Its not cute. Its boring.
So the first news I came across Today involved a family of native D.C. Idiots who obviously passed their Idiocy down Genetically to their 15-year old son, who seems to be homozygous Dominant for the trait. The Chicago Tribune states that this boy, named John Donald Rupp III (aka. Bo), went to a tailgate at a concert last fall. He drank two cans of Four Loko then got rowdy enough to get kicked out. Subsequently, the venue staff called his mom to pick him up. Now here’s the Grand Moment. As he and his mom entered their neighborhood, Bo decided it would be a Good idea to jump out the car and run off, Not just anywhere, but to a busy nearby Highway. It follows that Bo got hit by a car and he died the next day. Tragic story for the family. Maybe a lesson to some of us less intelligent drunks that don’t know that highways have cars and cars win in human-car warfare. Tragic experience for the car driver who has to remember the drunken idiot he hit for the rest of his days. The astonishing part about it all though isn’t the accident itself but the ensuing events.
The parents now want to sue Phusion Projects, the creator of Four Loko, for wrongful death. They contend that Phusion Projects was careless to create such a product. They say it “desensitizes users to the symptoms of intoxication and increases the potential for alcohol related harm.” Now I’m not one of the ignorant who ignore the powers of technology. Nothing made by us humans is neutral. Everything has a purpose and is meant to cause something by its use. Four Loko is meant to get you (the of-age drinker) Drunk! And that’s what it does. Still, its not meant to make you run out on the highway at night where people are driving upwards of 60 mph. How long has Four loko been sold in stores? and how many people have run into traffic since then? How many people have done anything remotely similar after drinking a Four Loko? Not to mention that Four loko is basically just a synthesis of materials we as drunks have been mixing together since we turned up our first Bottle. Remember Jager bombs, red bull and vodkas, or just your wonderful dorm room combo of soda, energy drink, and liquor. Caffeine and liquor are nothing new. Sorry parents but don’t act like you don’t know. Moreover, Four Lokos don’t even contain caffeine anymore since the ban. So obviously we all are missing this magical ingredient in Four Lokos that transforms otherwise sensible people into complete dumbasses. I hope we can isolate this ingredient soon, for the sake of our college students and, apparently, our children.
*Note: A lightweight shouldn’t drink two Four Lokos. That shit will fuck you up!*
Back to business:
Taking the argument further, the attorney for the Rupp family stated, “its not beer, its not wine, the product tastes like juice.” Okay Four Loko doesn’t taste like straight up vodka, but don’t people drink these things called mixed drinks all the time?? I remember those tasting like juice, Mr. Attorney. And I don’t see anyone suing Jose Cuervo or just every bar for serving us drinks that don’t taste like ethanol. This whole situation screams to me as being an instance of upset parents with no one to set their anger on, so they aim it at the closest thing. Wasting their money on hungry lawyers, leading to a valley of further despair. The fucked up thing is I’m not sure they will lose this case. Says something about our justice system.
Well to start it sucks that the kid had to die. This type of thing should never happen and minors should never drink. I understand that the family wasn’t around when he was getting drunk and this is not their fault in any way. This kid probably didn’t drink much so he didn’t know what do like most ignorant kids. The king dumbass moment was when he ran out of the car onto a highway. “Oooo a car!” Yes little Bo it was a car. But how can you sue an alcohol company for getting your kid drunk? That’s the point of alcohol. It’s not their fault that he got into an accident AFTER already being taken home by his mom or that he got the alcohol in the first place. That’s like making a lawsuit against Viagra for making your erection too hard. What about that kid who almost OD’d on Flintstone vitamins!? Those where the shit for children. He dint get to sue them. The FDA always has something to bitch about. They say that caffeine in four lokos make you do things that you normally don’t do drunk but this is just another reason to keep it away from children. I can honestly say that four lokos are shitty now. We alcoholics will never have such a great thing ever again. If they can make a lawsuit because you can’t taste the alcohol in the drink then I want to make a lawsuit against taco bell for making me shit bricks after eating a Chalupa that day. My bathroom needed a professional cleaning after that. What if there were no four lokos though? That kid would’ve just got beer or that generic four loko called “joose”. He would have probably done the exact same thing. This is the fate of a dumbass. They should be making a lawsuit against the liquor store that sold him the lokos. It was probably some Indian guy who didn’t understand that the child wanted a Pepsi. People can be stupid sometimes.